How to Improve Your Writing
by Standing on Your Head
by Philip Yaffe
You may not have thought
about it, but newspapers provide the best examples of clear, concise, dense
(factual) writing you can find anywhere. Otherwise people wouldn’t read them.
Journalists not only write
superbly well, they do so extremely rapidly. When a news event occurs, they
don’t have the luxury of spending several days to put together their text. At
best, they have a few hours.
Learning
how journalists work their “daily miracles” can help you write better at
your much more leisurely pace.
Here is an article from an international newspaper.
Britain yesterday has once again called for the United Nations to mount a peacekeeping operation in the violence-torn Darfur region of Sudan in response to increasing complaints from aid agencies on site that international efforts to help Darfur’s desperate, displaced population are woefully inadequate.
At the same time, Her Majesty’s Government is joining with other European Union countries to threaten sanctions against Sudan unless its government energetically moves to end the “ethnic cleansing” against black villagers in Darfur by the mainly Arab Janjawid militias. UN officials report that the conflict has already claimed from 30,000 – 50,000 lives and about 1.2 million people have been displaced, with about 200,000 taking refuge in neighbouring Chad.
(And the story continues)
In
the first paragraph, we learn that:
1.
The British Government is concerned about the situation
in Darfur.
2.
Darfur is a violence-torn region of Sudan.
3.
Britain believes a peacekeeping force is urgently
needed.
4.
It is pressing the United Nations to supply this
peacekeeping force.
5.
This is not the first time that it has urged the UN to
supply peacekeeping force.
6.
The population of Darfur has been displaced.
7.
Aid agencies in Darfur say that international
assistance to these distressed people is inadequate.
In
the second paragraph, we learn that:
1.
The trouble in Darfur is a race war
2.
Arab militias are attacking black villagers.
3.
Britain and other EU countries believe the Sudanese
Government is not doing enough to stop the war.
1.
They threaten sanctions against Sudan if its government
does not quickly take action to end the attacks.
2.
To date, between 30,000 - 50,000 people have been
killed.
3.
About 1.2 million have been displaced.
4.
About 200,000 have fled across the border into the
neighbouring country of Chad.
5.
These figures come from the United Nations, which is a
reliable source.
Imagine that you had known absolutely nothing about Darfur before reading this text. Within two paragraphs you have learned virtually everything you need to know about this tragic situation.
This is certainly clear, concise, dense writing at its very finest. Unfortunately, it is seldom recognised as such. According to the adage: Today a newspaper may be the most valuable thing in the world; tomorrow it is good only for wrapping fish.
Now that you appreciate how remarkable qualities of newspaper writing, the question is: How does it happen? And how can you apply its lessons to your type of writing?
Turning Things on Their Head
Journalist use an ingenious
technique called the “inverted pyramid”. Before seeing how it works, it
would be useful to see where it came from.
A couple of centuries ago,
poor literacy and primitive printing techniques meant that newspapers had few
readers, few pages, and were published infrequently (once a week or even once a
month). As literacy and printing techniques improved, the number of readers
increased, the number of pages increased. And so did frequency. Most newspapers
were published at least once a week, some 2 - 3 times a week. Many even became
dailies.
This accelerating pace of
production created a serious technical problem. In more leisurely days, if a
story was too long for the space assigned to it, there was always plenty of time
to either rewrite it or redesign the page. However, when newspapers became
dailies, this was no longer possible.
What newspapers needed were
stories that they could cut off from the bottom. In this way, instead of
labouring to revise a story at the last minute, they could simply remove the
last few sentences or paragraphs, and the job was done.
In order to do this,
stories had to be written in a very special way. It is of no value simply to cut
from the bottom if the lost information is crucial for the reader to understand
what the story is all about. Consequently, stories had to be written “top
down”. All key information had to be concentrated at the beginning and all
secondary information presented in declining order of importance. In this way
text could be deleted from the bottom and no one would know that it had ever
been there.
out to be how people prefer
to get their information, particularly when they are in a hurry.
With today’s computer
technology, the mechanical problem that gave rise to the inverted pyramid is no
longer relevant. However, because it constitutes the very basis of good
expository writing, the inverted pyramid is still held in high esteem.
Imagine an upside-down
pyramid, or rather a triangle, i.e. with its point at the bottom and the wide
part at the top.
The top, where all the key
information is concentrated, is called the “lead”. The second part, which
contains the secondary information (details), is called the “body.
·
How to construct the lead
The beginning of the story (“lead”) must be concise. This may be a single sentence or several sentences, whatever is necessary to give the reader a clear overview of what it contains.
Journalists often say that they spend about 50% of their time writing the lead of a story; writing the rest of the story also takes about 50%. Why? Because this is usually how long it requires them to determine the key information to put into the lead, and then to package it in a clear, concise manner. After that, the rest of the story almost writes itself.
Determining this key information is not a matter of intuition. There is a method. Before journalists start to write, they ask themselves a series of questions known as the 5Ws & H.
1. Who? Who are the person or persons involved in the story?
2. What? What happened?
3. When? When did it happen?
4. Where? Where did it happen?
5. Why? Why did it happen?
6. How? How did it happen?
Not all these questions will be relevant all the time, but they provide a good test. After writing the lead, check to see how many of the questions have been answered. If any answers are missing, there are two possible reasons:
Ř The question isn’t relevant, so do nothing.
Ř The question is relevant but was neglected, so rewrite.
Another way to evaluate the lead is the Stop Reading Test.
Remember, you are generally writing for busy people. They generally do not want—and often do not need—to read the entire text. So ask yourself: At what point could someone stop reading and still get a clear, sharp picture of what the text is all about? If they would need most or all of the text, you must do some serious rewriting.
·
How to construct the body
The
inverted pyramid is a pyramid because at each point from the lead downward the
information becomes less and less important. This does not mean the information
is necessarily less interesting; that is for each individual reader to
determine. However, it is no longer vital.
But
how do you arrange information in descending order of importance? Remember, it
must be possible to delete information from the bottom without anyone knowing
that it was ever there.
This
is certainly not easy; it requires a lot of skill and practice. But once again,
there is a method that offers considerable help. It is called the Q
& A Technique. It works like this.
After each sentence you write, examine it to see what
question
it could raise in the mind of your readers.
Then answer it!
If you do this consistently, you will find the answers becoming more and
more detailed, so the information will become less and less vital. When you run
out of questions, it is probably a good time to stop writing.
A Pertinent Example
Here is the lead of a story in an international newspaper.
Super-sportsman
Lance Armstrong, seven-time Tour de France
winner, filed suit Wednesday in a Paris court to force the publisher La
Martiničre to include his denial of doping charges in a new book about him,
scheduled to reach bookstores in September.
(And the story continues)
Here are
the 5Ws & H.
1.
Who?
Lance
Armstrong, seven-time Tour of France
winner
2.
What?
filed
suit against the publisher La Martiničre
3. When?
Wednesday
4. Where? in a Paris court
5. Why?
to include his denial of
doping charges in a new book
about him
6.
How?
(not relevant)
familiar to everyone, but with this description, even people who have
never heard of him would now know who he is.
Similarly, the “What” is not simply that he filed a lawsuit but that
he filed suit against “the publisher La
Martiničre”. Most readers probably will not know who La Martiničre is, but they will know that the writer does, which
reinforces their confidence in the accuracy of the text. Gaining reader
confidence is essential to effective expository writing, and inserting precise
detail wherever relevant is an excellent way to do it.
Starting from this lead, the story continues down the inverted pyramid.
At each point, the information becomes less vital, giving each individual reader
the option to decide at which point they have had enough and can turn their
attention to something else.
How to Use the Inverted Pyramid in Your Type of Writing
You may now feel that the
inverted pyramid is an excellent idea—for newspapers. But is it relevant for
the type of writing that you do?
Emphatically, yes!
Remember, the inverted pyramid provides information in exactly the way
people prefer it, particularly when they are in a hurry.
Suppose you are writing
some kind of company report—a financial analysis, a new product proposal,
changes to the company's employment policies, etc. It runs to 20 pages.
Obviously you can’t organise it into one big inverted pyramid; even the most
accomplished professional writer wouldn’t attempt such a daunting task.
However, you can organise it into sections and subsections, and write these as
inverted pyramids.
You can even go a step
further. Most such reports begin with an executive summary. Write this as you
would the lead of an inverted pyramid, i.e. be certain that all the key
information is located there and that it is presented in a clear, concise,
confidence-building manner.
Contrary to common
conventional wisdom,
you should write the executive summary before
you write the body, at least as a rough draft. To emphasise the point,
perhaps we should replace the term “executive summary”, which implies
writing the body first and then summarising it, for something more appropriate
such as “executive briefing”, “executive focus”, etc.
Treating the executive
summary as the lead of an inverted pyramid is not easy, but it confers some
extraordinary advantages on both the writer and the readers.
·
Advantages
for the writer
Identifying
and writing the executive summary first helps you to:
Ř
Determine what information you
really need in the body of the report, i.e. what is of key importance and
secondary importance. And what can be eliminated, i.e. what is of no importance.
Ř
Organise the body into the most
appropriate sections and subsections.
Ř
Present the information in each
section and subsection in descending order of importance.
·
Advantages for the readers
With
an executive summary is written like the lead of an inverted pyramid, readers
can:
Ř
Get a clear overview of what the
report contains.
Ř
Determine which sections and
subsections of the body may be of particular interest.
Ř
Decide whether or not they even
need to read the body.
Remember,
you are dealing with busy people; they have neither the time nor the desire to
read the entire report. What they really want is for the writer to clearly
identify what they must
read (executive summary). Any additional material they may wish to
read should be left to their own judgement.
The general structure of a well-written report would
thus consist of two parts:
1.
Executive
Summary
Written like the lead of an inverted pyramid, i.e.
build it on the 5 Ws & H
2.
Body
Written
in sections and subsections, each one in the form of an inverted pyramid
I recently had a discussion about the
ideas in this article with a journalist friend of mine, the president of a major
US news distribution company. He suddenly realised that over his 40-year career,
the inverted pyramid had become so much a part of him that he unconsciously uses
it in virtually everything he writes: letters,
emails, reports, financial statements, new product proposals, etc.
You will probably never reach the
stage of using the inverted pyramid without a second thought. However, if you
begin consciously using it as a first thought, I am certain you will be pleased
at just how much it will help you write more clearly, concisely—and rapidly.
Editor’s
Note
Philip Yaffe is a former
reporter/feature writer with The Wall
Street Journal and a marketing communication consultant. He currently
teaches a course in good writing and good public speaking in Brussels, Belgium.
This
article is based on Mr. Yaffe’s excellent book In the “I” of the Storm: the
Simple Secrets of Writing & Speaking (Almost) like a Professional.
It is available directly from the publisher in Belgium (www.Storypublishers.be)
or Amazon (www.Amazon.com).
For
further information, please contact:
Philip Yaffe
61, avenue des Noisetiers
B-1170 Brussels, Belgium
Tel:
32 2 660 0405
Email:
phil.yaffe@yahoo.com